***COMMENT***

Hey, I got your eBook a month or so ago. Great
stuff. I write a comment to you because of one of
your letters, the one from "M. Missouri",
specifically. He described starting his marriage
with the C&F and losing his touch. My advise: hit
the book, bud. My marriage was the typical story
of the wife with all the power. This last month,
the whole deal has turned on its head. We're
celebrating our 10th anniversary next year, and my
use of your eBook has moved the power from her to
at least shared (it'll be all mine soon enough).
The posture advise, and slowed deliberate,
confident movements, and, of course, the "like I
give a F" attitude all have brought this about.
Thanks David, and to the guy who's losing his
edge, take it from someone that had no edge and is
getting all of the control: you've let the book
sit unstudied for too long. If I can change over 8
years of bad history, you can reel your situation
back in.

P in Portland

>>>MY COMMENTS:

   Great job, man.

   Too many guys have this ideal or fantasy in
their minds of "being equals" with a woman, etc.

   Ain't gonna happen.

   Attractive woman aren't interested in an EQUAL.

   They're NEVER attracted to guys who are EQUALS.

   Attractive women want a guy who is a LEADER.
One who takes charge, keeps them on their toes, is
unpredictable, Cocky & Funny, etc.

   Thanks for the letter.

***BREAKTHROUGH***

David, this might seem usual but I owe you $40.
See I purchased your ebook about a year ago but
asked for a refund because "it didn't work for
me". I realize now that it wasn't your material
rather my own issues that I had to deal with.
During that time frame I still read your
newsletters and gained more understanding of the
mindset of one who "Gets it". I'm still working on
that but as you said, some are quicker learners
than others. Another factor in this was the other
day when this hottie that I was chatting up was
saying how she would hold out longer if the guy
was "relationship material" than if she wanted a
booty call. (A great time for a quick C&F
comeback) A light clicked on and I remembered
where I'd read that before. The clincher was when
a buddy of mine let me listen to some of your
advanced material. All I can say is that I'm
getting my own copy as soon as I can. So where do
I send you your money?

Thanks, E.S. in San Diego.

>>>MY COMMENTS:

   I admire you for coming back a year later and
admitting that you were the issue, not the
material.

   SO YOU'RE THE GUY WHO ASKED FOR A REFUND, HUH!?

   lol... hey, it's OK.

   Yes, women do "hold out" longer if a guy is
"relationship material"... that is, if they are in
CONTROL of the situation they do.

   And yes, at that point you should have shot
back:

   "So that's how you think of me... as just a
BOOTY CALL? How romantic."

   You know, sometimes I even find it hard to
believe that all this strange stuff is true about
women and dating.

   But, it is...

***COMMENT FROM A WOMAN***

Dave

What are you doing? Wait I'll answer that, YOU
are taking away ALL of the fun we get to have! Ok
I'll admit you're right about most, ok all, of it,
but there is still at least ONE thing that I know
you have never answered. If we put a guy into
your so called "Friends" category even YOU don't
know how to get him out of it!

JB -Canada

P.S. I recommend you stop selling your books and
"advanced tactics" before you do something
serious.

>>>MY COMMENTS:

   Yeah, I'm really in danger now, huh?

   And you're right... once a guy is in the
"friends" category it's not easy to get out.

   In fact, I tell guys to just walk away and
forget about it, because it's such a pain to try
to change.

   But, there's GREAT NEWS!

   There are SO MANY women running around on this
planet that it DOESN'T MATTER.

   Next!

   The ironic part is that when you do take the
"Next!" attitude and stop treating a woman, who
only likes you as a friend, like she's special,
she'll often change her mind and start liking you.

   Go figure.

***COMMENT***

First off, I am an avid reader of your material
and I employ it often. It works - well. I bought
your ebook about a year ago and it was worth every
penny. Anyway, enough ass-kissing. I have a
general comment about the whole gift-buying,
dinner-buying kissing a woman's ass concept. You
say that doing such things to win over a woman's
attention are foolish. I agree wholeheartedly.
However, I am in a relationship now with a woman
that I really like, and sometimes I want to buy
her things or take her out, etc. This isn't
because I feel I have to, but it is because I want
to treat her well. I don't feel that if I don't
do this, she will leave me. Therein lies the
difference between being foolish and needy about
it, and doing it by your own decision. It is the
INTENT behind what you do that is important. If
you do something for a woman because you feel you
have to or you will possibly lose her, she can
more than likely sense that, and will have
limitless amounts of power over you. If you do
something because you want to, then she will sense
the apparent confidence in you, and will not
necessarily have power over you because of it.
Besides, like you say, a woman should want you for
YOU - your personality - not what you can buy her
or where you can take her. NOTE: I agree that
gift-giving, etc. is a somewhat bad idea in the
beginning of a relationship for the same reasons
you don't like it. It makes you appear needy and
insecure, and no (emotionally stable) woman wants
that in a man.

P.S. It was your material that helped give me the
mentality to get with the girl I am dating
currently. Good work fella!

J from Philly

>>>MY COMMENTS:

   YES!

   You get it!

   It's the intent behind what you're doing.

   I have a little secret that I'm going to share
with you. But lean in close, so I can whisper. I
don't want anyone else to hear...

   I actually have guy friends who are REALLY good
with women who take women to dinner, buy them
drinks, etc. when they first meet.

   What, you say?

   How can this be?

   Well, the big difference is that these guys are
NOT doing this stuff to GET THE WOMAN'S APPROVAL.

   And since EVERYTHING ELSE they're doing clearly
communicates the RIGHT things, they can actually
do whatever they want, and still not screw things
up.

   In other words, if you don't understand how
ATTRACTION works, and you don't know how to
communicate with women in a way that makes them
feel it for YOU, then buying drinks and dinner,
and giving compliments, and all the other things
most guys do will only BACKFIRE.

   On the other hand, once you totally understand
how and why women feel ATTRACTION, you can do
whatever you want.

   And later on, when you find a girl that you
really like and you're enjoying a relationship, of
course it's nice to do nice things for her.

   Just remember, be very careful.

   It's easy to be lured back to the dark side...
and to try to get women to like you by paying for
things and taking them places... which it will
never do.

***QUESTION***

Hey Dave,

I just finished reading your latest newsletter and
I had a thought that I wanted to share. You talked
a lot about guys chasing women and showering them
with gifts to buy their love. Well, I have a
common sense point to make to any of your readers
that may be on the fence about buying your
materials.

Before I purchased your book, I had doubts because
I wasn't sure it would be worth the money. To put
it into perspective, I thought about all the girls
I dated in the past. Then I roughly added up all
the money I had spent on each for dinner, gifts,
etc. (Yes, I know, that was wussy behavior).
Well, after totaling up the money, I realized I
could have bought all your materials (book, CD and
DVD series) for myself and five of my close
friends and still had money left over (Yes, I
spent that much money on women in the past. I
know, that was bad). Point is, to any guy (or
girl) out there, take the money you're wasting
chasing some girl and buy Dave's book or CD/DVD
series. It's worth it.

Now to my question. I know this is getting long
but I gave you a plug so you owe me. Have you
taken any courses or read any books on
conversation skills? Can you recommend any books
on the subject and also on the subject of body
language? Thanks,

AG in PA

>>>MY COMMENTS:

   You're right-on about one thing...

   If most guys added up all the money they've
WASTED on women, they'd realize what a BAD
investment they've made (and what a great
investment my stuff is! I like your idea... I'm
going to tell every guy to get my materials for
them and all their friends from now on. Nice!)

   The best books I've ever read on conversation
skills are COMEDY books. I like the book "Comedy
Writing Secrets" by Helitzer.

   And as far as body language books go, I haven't
found any that I can recommend. The book "Body
Language" by Fast, has some interesting stuff in
it... but most of it is hard to really grasp.

   One of the biggest problems I ran into when I
was first learning how to meet women was that
things didn't make sense... and things that
"should" work DIDN'T work.

   When it comes to women and ATTRACTION the
normal rules don't apply anymore. This area of
life is VERY DIFFERENT from other areas, and when
you try to apply ideas and techniques from other
areas (like conversation skills), you'll find that
they often don't work AT ALL.

   You can walk into a room full of 100 people,
and start walking around meeting them.

   For 99 of them, walking over and saying, "Hi,
how do you know everyone here?" and "So, what do
you do?" will work just fine.

   But when you find that ONE attractive woman in
the room that you'd like to meet, and you want to
start an interaction that leads to ATTRACTION, you
must do something TOTALLY different.

   It's more than the words you say... it's a
total understanding of what that woman is looking
for on a deep, primal, subconscious level... and
then to BE that man.

***COMMENT***

Dave,

Sometimes I have to just stop in the middle of
your newsletters and take a break because the
stuff you deliver is so good that I feel a little
overwhelmed... killer stuff! I love the ebook and
CD collection. I will send some details later.

You really do more good in the lives you touch
then you know. I hope you can truly appreciate
that statement and all that it means. We should
all be so fortunate to have such a positive impact
on a single life... let alone the many that you
influence.

Best regards, E. Chicago, IL

>>>MY COMMENTS:

   Yes, someone give me a trophy... or a medal or
something.

   I really am a wonderful guy, huh?

   Trust me, if you had this much fun doing what
I'm doing, you'd do it, too...

***QUESTION***

Hi Dave

I've been receiving your free newsletter for a few
months now and just wanted to say that I've found
much of what you've written to be helpful,
insightful, and most of all funny! Like a lot of
other guys I've spent a LOT of time trying to
learn how to impress and have success with women,
and I like to think that I've come quite a long
way from the needy, desperate wussy-man I used to
be (and still am on occasion, admittedly).

My question involves one of the 'testing'
behaviors you described in a previous newsletter.
You said that one way women often test men is by
canceling plans at the last minute, or by flaking
out altogether with little or no notice. I've had
this happen to me numerous times and I always
assumed these girls were just being careless or
inconsiderate... or worse yet, ignoring me in the
hopes that I would "get the message" and walk
away, without them having to go thru the
awkwardness of outright rejecting me! It never
occurred to me that they might be doing it
intentionally, and then taking note of my response
in order to see if I passed some kind of test. Is
that really what's going on? And if so, how do I
pass the test? What is a woman looking for in
this type of situation?

Thanks, T

>>>MY COMMENTS:

   Well, it is true that women use things like
this to test men... but it's ALSO true that women
do things like this because they want to AVOID
CONFRONTATION.

   In other words, a woman will sometimes make
plans with a guy just to avoid saying "no" in the
moment.

   But later, she'll flake or cancel because
"something came up"... when she never intended to
show up in the first place.

   If women are flaking out on you a lot, it's
probably something that YOU'RE doing up front.

   In any case, try this:

   Next time you're talking to a woman on the
phone and making plans to get together for tea
say, "Let me ask you a quick question. Do you ever
flake out on things?"

   She'll say, "Not usually" (or some other non-
committal thing, most likely).

   Say, "Good, because it's one of those things
that I really can't deal with... people that can't
keep their word...and there are a lot of flaky
people in this world."

   That might help.

   And if she DOES flake at the last minute, don't
accept it.

   If she calls and says, "Oh, something came
up..." just answer back, "You know, I was just
starting to think you were DIFFERENT from all the
flaky women I've met"...

   Make it clear to women that it is NOT OK to
waste your time and they'll waste it less.

   But, if you act nice and sweet and
accommodating... and you transmit the message that
it's OK to flake because you're a nice guy and
won't care, then it will happen to you all the
time.

***QUESTION***

hey dave,

i need an answer to a question that has confused
the hell out of me. well, i received a bunch of
red roses for valentines day from my girlfriend of
about 2 months now. i gave her 2 roses, a small
teddy bear thing and a short card with a bit of
c+f talk. i figured that i had made a bit of a
mistake by buying her this much, but when i gave
it all to her she looked so happy and told me that
SHE owed ME bigtime for what i had done. the rest
of the day i had no problems with kissing her or
anything else. my question is, why havent i been
seen as a wuss to her? i know that in most other
scenarios, buying this much stuff would have got
me nowhere.

by the way, your research and advice is all spot
on. its helped me to attract loads of girls,
including my current girlfriend. thanks and keep
up the great work mate.

S, AUSTRALIA

>>>MY COMMENTS:

   Yeah!

   The reason she said that she "owes you big
time" is because of the WAY you did it.

   When you incorporate the attitude into all of
your communication with women, it has a HUGE
impact.

   The fact that you:

1) Did something thoughtful (the card, two
flowers, etc.)

2) AND you said Cocky & Funny things in the card

   ...clearly communicated that you were NOT doing
this because you wanted to kiss up to her and get
her approval.

   One of the greatest things you can do is EVERY
time you do something nice for a girl and she
THANKS you for it say, "Yeah, you owe me" in a
sarcastic tone.

   Then, later, get her to pay up.

   Personally, I like massages.

   There's something magical about always putting
a high value on yourself, your time, and your
attention. If you put a high value on it, women
will too.

   ...and a couple of final thoughts...

   There are two KEY aspects of learning how to be
successful with women and dating:

1) The Inner Game

2) The Outer Game

   The INNER GAME is all about learning how to
THINK and how to manage your thoughts and
emotions. It's also about understanding how and
why attractive women feel that amazing emotion
called ATTRACTION for some men and not for MOST
men.

   The OUTER GAME is all of the techniques, what
to say and such.

   Which is more important?

   Well, they're BOTH important.

   But what I notice is that most guys want to
learn the OUTER GAME first.

   In other words, they want the pick up lines,
the fancy tricks, and other things.

   I can remember when I first started learning
this stuff.

   I had this idea in my mind that if I could
learn how to get women to give me their numbers
that I'd be the MAN.

   Well, I learned that. I can get just about any
woman's phone number in just a few minutes.

   But guess what?

   Once I learned how to get women's phone
numbers, I ran into a much BIGGER issue... the
women usually flaked out on me, didn't show up,
etc.

   And the ones that DID show up were difficult.

   Nothing happened.

   I realized that there had to be more.

   And, as it turns out, there is. A LOT more, in
fact.

   The REASON that the "Inner Game" is so
important is that attractive women don't judge you
on your "pick up lines".

   And just because a woman gives you her phone
number or email address DOES NOT mean that she
FEELS anything inside (like ATTRACTION).

   Women don't DECIDE to feel ATTRACTION for a
man.

   ATTRACTION is something that happens on its
own, for its own reasons.

   Attraction Isn't A Choice!

   The way to cause women to feel ATTRACTION for
you is to UNDERSTAND how and why it works, and
then communicate in a way that makes it happen.

***SUCCESS STORY***

i love your news letter and i have been reading it
for almost a year. i have been with the same girl
for nine months because of you dave! i used to the
same way about chics, buying them dinners, etc.
but once i started applying your techniques i met
the love of my life. i drive a piece of crap and i
am a broke college student. i played like i didnt
care when my girl and i first met before i know it
she's giving me lots of great sex, money, dvd
player, clothes,vetc. i was cocky and funny but
also threw in a little sweetness to catch her off
gaurd. Ladies get bored with the same old
dates,etc. I did outrAGEOUS THINGS IN AND OUT OF
THE BEDROOM AND NOW WE ARE PROBABLY GOING TO GET
MARRIED LATER ON WHEN I GET OUT OF COLLEGE!

THANKS DAVE! -C FROM TX

>>>MY COMMENTS:

   What's this you say?

   You have a great girl buying YOU things...
including clothes, and even DVD players?

   Very powerful stuff.

   You know, in your letter you mentioned throwing
in a "little sweetness" to "catch her off guard."

   I would like to share a little profound
revelation:

   It's OK to be sweet.

   Yes, I know, sounds a little weird coming from
me.

   But, it is OK to be sweet to women.

   The problem is that most guys do it TOO MUCH,
and TOO SOON. And they come across as needy Wuss
Boys who are trying to use "niceness" to
manipulate.

   When you meet a girl you really like and decide
that you want to take things to a "relationship"
level, it's actually great to be sweet.

   Just don't do it before date #10! lol...

***QUESTION FROM A WOMAN***

Hi Dave,

I recently had a very serious conversation with my
boyfriend of two years about threesomes. I know
this isn't really a dating question, but I want to
get some input about this situation in
relationships in general and I thought you and
your newsletter would be a good place to start. I
am aware that as far as every guy in the world is
concerned a threesome is the best thing that could
happen in a relationship because he gets to have
twice as much fun as normal. But could most guys
actually go through with it? Could they really
have sex (or whatever else) with a girl while
being in a serious relationship with another? Does
this stuff even go through the mind of the average
male?

I am also aware that guys like two girl and one
guy threesomes and not the other way around. would
a guy think about the situation more if it were
their girlfriend having sex with another guy?
Also, how often do threesome ideas make it out of
the minds of men and into the bedroom?

hope you can answer some of my questions

es canada

>>>MY COMMENTS:

   You're right about this not being a dating
question, but who cares... it's a question about
all men's favorite fantasy, so I'll allow it.

   Now, what the heck are you doing asking, "Would
a guy think about the situation more if it were
their girlfriend having sex with another guy?"

   Who cares! No guys do. They only want to know
what you'd look like kissing your best friend.

   LOL!

   And yes, your boyfriend could "have sex (or
whatever else)" with a girl while being in a
serious relationship with another.

   Hey, you're the one who opened up the barn door
by having the "very serious conversation" with
him.

   Let me know if it happens. We're all on the
edge of our seats here.

***QUESTION***

You know what David, you were right, and I feel
sick to my stomach right now. I met this woman,
went out a few times, nailed her the first night
and all that. I bought her some flowers for
Valentine's Day, mostly because she complained
like 3 times since I've known her (only a couple
weeks) that she never gets flowers on Valentine's
Day, so I wanted to surprise her.

So I took great care to sneak around her while she
wasn't looking, and plant them where she'd find
them. Well she did, and here's what she said, "Oh,
that's a really nice gesture, but next time just
leave them in my car okay? I don't want the other
students giving me a hard time or making faces at
me (this was at karate class)", In one quick
moment, my heart sank right to the floor, and I
felt WORSE about myself than before I bought her
the flowers! NEVER AGAIN am I wasting money on
this bullsh** holiday unless I've been with
someone for a year or more.

I can't believe I actually feel LESS close, and
like I have LESS power with this woman than I did
before I did something nice for her. You better
believe I won't make this mistake again. If you're
willing, lease share this story with your readers
so that at least the other guys can benefit from
my ignorance, and learn a lesson from it too. J

>>>MY COMMENTS:

   Hey, you can't say I didn't warn you.

   I'd offer a hug, but what YOU need is a to be
slapped up side the head for being a JACKASS!

   You bought something for a woman because she
COMPLAINED?

   Here, do this:

   Go in the bathroom.

   Find the mirror.

   Take a big black sharpie pen, and write the
following on your forehead (backwards, so you can
read it):

   "STOP BEING A DUMBASS!"

   Try that.

   If you're still with this girl in a YEAR, then
buy her some flowers.

   But, will you leave them in her car this time?

   Thanks for contributing... you've probably
saved many guys from a similar fate.

***QUESTION From A WOMAN***

David,

First of all, I would like to say that I really
enjoy reading your newsletters. A male friend of
mine started receiving them, and he now has me
reading them too. Now, thanks to you, we have both
adopted a "NO WUSS" policy..he's going to stop
being one, and I'm going to stop dating them. :)

I have a question that I would like your insight
on.. perhaps I should set the stage with a sample
online conversation... (After the usual initial
blah blah and silly comments on my part, he asked
and I sent him a pic)

him: yep, cute him: how tall are u

me: 5'10"

(insert cricket sound effects and silence)

me: helloooooooooo

him: later.. need to go work on a paper the end.

Me to the cricket: well, at least he didn't ask if
I play basketball.

My question is this.. are most men really
intimidated by taller women? If so, why? I have
actually dated a couple of people who were
obviously uncomfortable with my being taller than
they are. One even asked if I would mind not
wearing heels when we're out together, because it
made him feel weird. Needless to say, he got the
boot. (ha) If this is a silly concern, feel free
to hit "delete" or tell me to consult the pages of
Cosmo. I can take it! :) I'd just like to know if
there's anything I can do to make these guys feel
more at ease.

Thanks a lot!

BL

>>>MY COMMENTS:

   Yes, a lot of guys are intimidated by tall
women.

   No, I'm not.

   Yes, send me your number and picture.

   By the way, I fit your "No Wussy" policy. I'm
your man.

***FOLLOW UP COMMENT FROM A WOMAN***

Hi Dave,

You are a Brat. I wanted to clarify something from
my letter which seemed to set you off. That part
about school/marraige/fairness: To be fair, if he
invested in my education, as my husband, he would
more likely get a return on that investment than
if he were just a boyfriend I was living with. It
is my opinion that people who live together have
all these committed ties, but one foot out the
door. Kinda like playing house. Personally, I
don't like doing things that half-a**ed, and would
prefer to eventually make a home--with the right
guy.

You are right on about him needing your material,
but if I sent him your e-book, it would be
insulting, don'tcha think? I do get bored if a guy
doesn't keep me on my toes, I know that about
myself. And, after awhile, it's a bore being the
only one pointing up to the sky.

What's the deal with you, anyway? Are you just
shopping? What happens to a guy who has all the
lines? Maybe this forum your path to personal
enlightenment. So, how's that going? SC from Sac

>>>MY COMMENTS:

   Ohhhh, well thanks for clarifying.

   I understand now.

   If he supports you and pays for you to go to
school when you're MARRIED, then "he would more
likely get a return on that investment than if he
were a boyfriend I was living with"...

   Powerful.

   More likely.

   Return on investment.

   I feel ya.

   That changes everything and makes it completely
fair.

   Oh, and I didn't recommend that you buy him my
eBook. I recommended that you buy him my ADVANCED
MATERIAL. He needs serious help, dear.

   And what's the deal with ME?

   Am I "just shopping"?

   "What happens to a guy who has all the lines?"

   What do you mean "What happens?"

   You make it sound like I should be going
through some empty feeling of superficial
accomplishment followed by a depressing
realization of unfulfillment... now that I know
the secrets of how to make women feel attracted to
me.

   Sorry, can't help you there.

   Knowing what makes women "tick" kicks ass!

***QUESTION***

Hi David,

this is a letter from one of your italian fans....
after having received your newsletter for several
months now, im really thinking to purchase your e-
book... i was specially impressed by the
"cocky&funny" attitude which attracts women in a
great way! and damn! this stuff works!!!

the interesting thing i want you to know is that i
have been a horrible wussy for several years! i
did almost everything on your wussy list! like
being nice to everyone....and so on...(;
fortunately (at the age of 20, now im 22) i had
the luck to meet a guy of 27 years who was very
successfull and experienced in approaching and
"getting fisical" with girls...he taught me a lot
about psicology of women and other very intresting
stuff you already should know...(; almost each
weekend we went out he got to know new girls,
specially american students here in rome and other
really good looking italian beautys...i analyzed
what he did, his behaviour and so on...

and now we ask ourselves...why was he so
successfull? and the answer is that he was almost
all the time cocky and funny! always making fun of
the girls! and he wasnt even goodlooking, just
medium...i began to imitate his behaviour and
since then i had an incredible success with girls
which surprised myself and all my friends because
i was dating one really hot girl after another....
so if you want to get interesting or "attractive"
you gotta be special, unique, full of selfesteem,
funny, unpredictable and all the other stuff you
teach us! thats the way how it works...sure there
are thousands of other things to do...i dont need
to tell you...

now i got a very important question for you, i
think that this should be a big help for almost
everyone receiving your newsletters or already
owning your e-book. my biggest problem is the
first contact...how to behave afterwards and how
to get fisical later is much easier in my
opinion...lets take this example, im in a pub with
a friend of mine, close to us are, lets say 3
goodlooking girls on a table and two of them seem
to be interested because they keep on looking to
us...they smile at us, look in our eyes for a few
seconds and play with their hair, showing you
their "delicious" neck , talk with a loud voice to
take your attention and so on ( some of the signs
women usually make)...my problem is now how to go
on! they seem to be interested but nobody is
outgoing enough to walk over to the other table to
start a conversation in order to establish a first
contact.. you always teach us that the content of
the conversation is not so important as the way
you say it right? but what can i tell them? (
fear of rejection i know) . how would you react or
behave? walking by, what would you tell them? ( i
think just asking them if they want to sit down
with us on our table is very wussy)... try to give
us concrete examples of the first "cocky&funny"
contact in a pub or other tipical places... that
would be great...

thanks for helping the wussyfied planet...(;

M.M. Rome, Italy

>>>MY COMMENTS:

   You know, I'm glad to hear that you met a guy
who was successful with women, and learned from
him.

   OF COURSE he was Cocky & Funny.

   I learned most of my best ideas about how to
meet women from guys who were successful with
women, and I found that they all did basically the
SAME things... even though they didn't "realize"
that they were doing anything at all, for the most
part.

   Meeting and hanging out with "naturals" is one
of the very best things you can do to learn how to
be more successful with women (the other is to
study the materials that I've put together at the
same time, so you can have the advantage of having
it all explained to you).

   Now, to answer your question about approaching
women in "a pub."

   I think the issue that you're PROBABLY dealing
with is REJECTION.

   You're probably afraid to go start a
conversation because you don't want to be rejected
by women.

   Once you can face this reality and start to
deal with it, then you'll start making more
progress.

   My experience starting conversations with
groups of more than one woman in bars is that your
ENERGY makes a huge impact.

   In other words, if you walk over and act
nervous and stilted, the women will get nervous
and act cold.

   If you act like you're having a good time, you
think they look like some fun people to talk to,
and you start on that note, they'll be FAR more
likely to be friendly and open.

   Now, I know a lot of guys who are GREAT at
meeting women in bars. Some of them use rather
interesting and complex techniques that range from
"pick up lines" all the way to magic and psychic
readings.

   Try this:

   Pick up your drink, walk over to the table,
think of the funniest moment of your life so you
have a smile on your face and say, "What, are you
girls shy or something?"

   When they say, "NO, why?"

   Answer, "Because I've been sitting at the next
table for at least a half hour and you haven't
come over to say hi to me!"

   I have about 3 different friends who all use
variations of this opening... and it works great
(if you're having fun when you say it).

   You need to get over your FEAR. Once you stop
caring what women think of you, then you'll make a
LOT more progress.

Our topic this week is ATTRACTION.

   Before you read further, I'd like you to take a
minute and think about what the word ATTRACTION
means to you.

   By the way, I'm talking about the romantic
concept of ATTRACTION... not gravitational
attraction, etc.

   If you can, WRITE DOWN exactly what you think
the word ATTRACTION means. The process of writing
down your thoughts helps you to organize them (I
recommend that you also keep a journal of your
experiences as you improve in this area of your
life). There are no right or wrong answers here,
so think about it for a few minutes...

   ACTUALLY WRITE YOUR THOUGHTS DOWN.

   ...

   ...

   ...

   OK, did you do that? Nice.

   So what did you come up with?

   A lot of guys seem to think that ATTRACTION is
when one person wants what another person has.

   Some think of ATTRACTION as the result of being
good-looking or otherwise "attractive." In fact, I
think a LOT of people confuse ATTRACTION with
"attractive."

   When I think of the concept of ATTRACTION, I
think of it primarily as an EMOTION. It seems to
me that it's more a COMBINATION of powerful
emotions that come together to form a very, very
special new SUPER-emotion.

   However you think about it, there is a process
that happens that keeps men and women getting
together to have sex...

   You are reading this right now, which is a
miracle.

   Think of the thousands upon thousands of
generations of ancestors that you have had... and
think about the fact that NOT ONE OF THEM DIED A
VIRGIN.

   And not one of them died in childhood.

   And then think about the fact that you beat out
about five hundred MILLION other sperm-racers to
get to the egg first.

   You are the result of, and represent, probably
the most amazing process I have ever heard of.

   One of the parts of this process that
fascinates me is how each pair of your ancestors
decided to get together with THAT PARTICULAR
PERSON at THAT PARTICULAR TIME.

   I know that some people will be upset that I'm
talking about this whole concept in such an
analytical, detached way... women in particular
seem to love the fantasy of two people being "soul
mates" and "knowing that your special someone is
out there" and "it just happening."

   If you're one of those people, stop reading
now! lol...

   After working on this area of my own personal
life for a few years, and trying all kinds of
techniques, it finally dawned on me that
ATTRACTION WAS BASICALLY EVERYTHING.

   If a woman feels ATTRACTION for a man, then
nothing else really matters.

   Looks, age, nationality, wealth, religion,
personal loss, peer pressure from friends and
family... none of it matters!

   On the other hand, if a women DOESN'T feel
ATTRACTION for a man, then nothing else matters in
that case either!

   You can't "talk" a woman into feeling
ATTRACTION, any more than you can "talk" a person
who hasn't eaten for three days out of feeling
hungry.

   I mean, if you really wanted to be fancy, you
could learn to be a hypnotist and talk them into
it that way...

   But I'll tell you a little secret: Even THAT
isn't the best way to do things! (I actually know
several people who use this method of hypnotizing
women... and I haven't met one yet who could use
this technique alone to get women... there's
ALWAYS something else going on.)

   What I'm trying to say is that one day it hit
me like a ton of bricks that ATTRACTION IS THE KEY
TO EVERYTHING WITH WOMEN!

   If you don't know what it is or how to create
it, you'll wander around trying different
techniques... and probably never land on something
that works consistently.

   And once I realized this, all kinds of things
that didn't make sense before INSTANTLY made sense
to me.

   All of a sudden I realized why women dated
abusive jerks... ATTRACTION.

   I realized why women dated men who were clearly
using them and cheating on them... ATTRACTION.

   And I also saw the FLIP SIDE!

   I realized why women pass up guys who are
honest, stable, attractive, and wonderful for
losers... ATTRACTION.

If she's NOT under the influence, then YOU'RE
gone. Nothing you do will matter if she doesn't
feel it.

   If you doubt what I'm saying, ask the next 10
SUPER HOT women you see what they think of this.
Read this newsletter to them, and watch their
reactions. You'll see.

   OK, now that you've heard a little bit more of
my personal perspective, I'd like you to look back
into your life and think about all those
situations with women that made no sense at all...

   Think about the women that you treated
wonderfully that passed you up for the jerks...
and think about all the women "friends" you had...
the ones who told you about how mean and
inconsiderate their boyfriends were... while you
looked at them thinking "I would kill my own
mother for just one date with you."

   Is it all making sense now?

   THEY DIDN'T FEEL ATTRACTION FOR YOU!

   YOU WERE BEING A "NICE GUY" AND PROBABLY A
WUSSY BOY, AND YOU HAD NO IDEA THAT IT WAS HAVING
THE EXACT OPPOSITE EFFECT OF WHAT YOU WANTED! AND
WORSE YET, THERE WASN'T A DAMN THING YOU COULD DO
ABOUT IT!

   It's harsh to think about, but it's true. (By
the way, if you don't do something to learn how to
make women feel ATTRACTION, then most likely, this
is going to keep happening to you for the rest of
your life.)

   I have to point out one more thing. As I
mentioned earlier, I think a lot of guys confuse
the idea of being "attractive" with the emotion
called ATTRACTION.

   You can make a woman feel an INCREDIBLE
ATTRACTION, even though you're not what most
people would think of as "attractive." Of course,
you have to know how...

   The point is that if you're not tall, handsome,
and dashing, you can LEARN how to make women feel
this wonderful emotion called ATTRACTION.

   It's a skill. It's taken me YEARS to be able to
even talk about this stuff in simple terms like
this that makes sense, and it's taken me the same
time to figure out how a regular guy like you or I
can make women who we used to think of as "out of
our league," feel ATTRACTION for us.

   How, you ask, can we do that?

   Well, you've read about the technique called
"Cocky and Funny"... that's a part of it.

   But there are several other pieces of the
puzzle, from voice tone and body language, to
specific ways to touch a woman to get her
physically turned on, and everything in between.
It's a system, and it all works together.

   There are two KEY aspects of learning how to be
successful with women and dating:

1) The Inner Game

2) The Outer Game

   The INNER GAME is all about learning how to
THINK and how to manage your thoughts and
emotions. It's also about understanding how and
why attractive women feel that amazing emotion
called ATTRACTION for some men, and not for MOST
men.

   The OUTER GAME is all of the techniques, what
to say and such.

   Which is more important?

   Well, they're BOTH important.

   But what I notice is that most guys want to
learn the OUTER GAME first.

   In other words, they want pick-up lines, fancy
tricks, and other things.

   I can remember when I first started learning
this stuff.

   I had this idea in my mind that if I could
learn how to get women to give me their numbers
that I'd be the MAN.

   Well, I learned that I can get just about any
woman's phone number in a few minutes.

   But guess what?

   Once I learned how to get women's phone
numbers, I ran into a much BIGGER issue... the
women usually flaked out on me, didn't show up,
etc.

   And the ones that DID show up were difficult.

   Nothing happened.

   I realized that there had to be more.

   And, as it turns out, there is... A LOT more,
in fact.

   The REASON that the "Inner Game" is so
important, is that attractive women don't judge
you on your "pick-up lines."

   And just because a woman gives you her phone
number or email address DOES NOT mean that she
FEELS anything inside (like ATTRACTION).

   Women don't DECIDE to feel ATTRACTION for a
man.

   ATTRACTION is something that happens on its
own, for its own reasons.

   Attraction Isn't A Choice!

   The way to cause women to feel ATTRACTION for
you is to UNDERSTAND how and why it works, and
then communicate in a way that makes it happen.

***DATING QUESTION FROM A READER***

Hi Dave,

Kind of an 'almost but not quite' success story
but compared to how I used to be it feels like a
miracle. Yes, in the past I was ultimate wussy boy
but then I got the ebook and began to change. (I'm
20 and glad I found this out now!) Always had
plenty of female friends but I was the therapist,
nothing more. And as I'm sure many guys who are
reading this know, it makes you feel like crap.
Anyway, by coincidence, I moved to another city
for work, just as I got the ebook. This meant that
I really had a fresh start. By another piece of
fortune I got very lucky: I met that rare woman
who has her act together FIRST TIME. Yeah, I
know. The first woman I meet EVER whilst trying
to be C+F, get my body language right, keep eye
contact and not be a wuss and she's the one who's
got her act together big style. I've always
picked things up really quickly (got to have some
good points when you only weigh 130lbs haha!) and
so just tried to stay cool for as long as I could,
mainly for the learning experience. And Dave,
thanks to reading your book day in and day out,
combined with the emails, I have done better than
I EVER thought I would. I still remember the
awesome feeling when she first started calling me
to do stuff (rather than the millions of other
guys who were always hanging around her, kissing
her ass.) Or how I would bust on her amongst our
group of friends and she would come right back at
me with an ever cockier and funnier comment and
all the guys would stare at me as if I was crazy
to say this stuff to her. They then proceeded to
say how unfair life must be because she is single
and to not take my comments to heart because she
is beautiful ...yuck, wussies!

So to the crunch. One night when this girl and I
were out pubbing and clubbing and battling each
other with our wits and building lots of tension
(so much fun) she opened up a bit and told me
that she had never met anyone like me and that I
was cool. All the cues that you said would happen
if you do the right things. Inside I was like
"WOW!" but I didn't show it and just told her that
her compliments and looking at me like a piece of
meat wasn't going to get her anywhere - she's a
great friend! By the end of the night she was
asking me the odds of us having sex within the
next few weeks. Now here's where I've got to hold
my hands up and risk your written wrath. In that
moment, this was the ONLY time I have ever been a
wuss with her. I'm a virgin and even though I
fancy her like mad, I know at present I couldn't
satisfy a woman like that (limiting belief I know,
but true!) I haven't got the skill yet and then I
realised that I had failed to plan ahead. Damn.
And I could hardly turn around and say "Hey, I'm a
virgin wuss who has never had sex! Teach me?"
Instead, as my answer I just smirked a little in a
poor attempt to look composed but I wasted a big
opportunity to amplify what was there; instead I
just dissipated all the tension by being a prick.
She appeared to let me off though and the next few
weeks were a C+F fun-fest again. I still played
it cool, no chasing, no clinging, no insecurity.
Then our mutual friends started telling me to ask
her for more. Even her best female friend said
that we should be together because we get on so
well. I remembered an email you sent saying that
if you meet someone you REALLY like then sometime
you're going to have to take the chance and tell
them. So when we were alone at another party a
couple of weeks later, I told her that we should
get together. Here's the messed up part: she said
that I was the best guy she'd ever met and that
she didn't want to enter a relationship with me
because every guy she has ever gone out with she's
ended up hurting. She said that she never wanted
to hurt me and wanted to know me forever. And
that if we stayed best friends forever, without
complications, we would have something great for
life and not a quick fling followed by never
talking again. She also said that she loved the
way that I stand up to her and don't kiss her ass
like most other guys. So, a lot of tears later
(from her), hugs, kisses and plenty of apologies
and I was left to wonder if my one error of sexual
wussiness had cost me in the worst possible way. I
believe this to be true because I know that if a
woman feels attraction for a man, then nothing
else matters. Her friendship logic wouldn't matter
if she "felt it" for me would it? I'm so pissed
off at myself for messing up (always been a
perfectionist, have to get everything right first
time!) However, she has surprised me in that she
hasn't run for the hills - she must've meant what
she said. Reason being because not only are we
still hanging out, but she sent me a Valentines
card (I sent her nothing) and just last week
invited me over to her place alone where she
cooked for me. I'm still playing it by your
teachings Dave but I'm at a complete loss. I like
her a hell of a lot and am really fighting the
wuss urge. I still bust on her, we still flirt, I
don't call her a s much as she calls me and I
haven't shared any feelings with her since that
night. I'm trying to stay cool man! Don't bitch
slap or berate me too hard, I've already done it
many times myself (and will continue to do so,
until I GET IT! I am not going to give this up!)
So after this damned long essay that says I've
gone on for too long (I've kept it to 2 paragraphs
though - albeit by cheating the rules of
grammar...) I have two questions: 1) Is there any
hope of turning this around? I know I should move
on but how long will it take me to find another
really exceptional woman that I get on so well
with? It seems like I'm so close but just haven't
quite got the skill to haul myself over the finish
line and it's very frustrating! 2) Where can I
get a good education on how to make love to a
woman? This is my final concern with women, I
believe. And when the time comes, should I admit
my lack of inexperience? (No amount of theory can
make up for lack of practice!)

Cheers Dave, without your teachings I would never,
ever have gotten this far.

M, United Kingdom.

P.S. She did your pocket a favor by turning me
down - it prompted me to buy the CD series. In
the long run, I guess she did me a favor too:
it's awesome so far. ***End of blatant plug***

>>>MY COMMENTS:

   Well, first of all I want to CONGRATULATE you
on a great job with this girl.

   You did all the right things, and you've
obviously paid attention to what you've learned. I
have a lot of respect for you for both DOING
SOMETHING to improve yourself, and for getting out
there and using the materials.

   You should be congratulating yourself, not
beating yourself up.

   I'M the one who gives the verbal beatings here,
not you, remember?

   I think the real problem you're running into
here is that you've put too much importance on
this one situation, and by doing that you've
created "tunnel vision" for yourself. I'm sure
you've heard me talk about this a lot.

   From now on, don't get so hung up on a
particular woman that you're not even
"technically" involved with. It's asking for
emotional trouble... and it's a pain.

   So, let's talk about this particular
situation...

   I'd like to share with you a thought to set
this up. It's a thought that might not go over so
well with a lot of people (especially women). But,
I believe it to be true, so I'm going to put it
out there.

   Remember, this is a generalization, and not a
cold, hard fact... it's true MOST of the time. You
have to use your own judgment in each situation.

   Now that the disclaimer is over, here's the
deal:

   If you meet a woman (especially a sharp,
attractive woman who's intelligent), and you start
doing all of those wonderful things that spark and
amplify the ATTRACTION present in the situation,
you must KEEP MOVING FORWARD, or you'll lose
everything you've built.

   What I'm trying to say is that if you don't
take things to a physical level quickly after
creating all of this sexual tension, it will
eventually go away, and you'll be left with just
"friend" material.

   I know that you've never been with a woman
sexually, so I can understand why you hesitated.
But you must still remember what I said.

   The rule of thumb is: If you're going to spark
and amplify attraction with a woman, you need to
continue on to the next level SOON... or you're
going to probably lose it.

   When you just tease a woman, bust on her, get
her all wired up and excited about you... then
DON'T MOVE FORWARD PHYSICALLY, it's a let down.

   Basically, the woman you're with has a first
impression of you that says "This guy is sexy and
attractive," but when you don't continue forward
on a physical level, she starts to think "Uh Oh,
he's either not interested in me 'in that way',
he's gay, or he's seeing someone else," etc.

   If you want to be "friends" with a woman, it's
easy. Don't do anything.

   If you don't make any "moves", don't try to
kiss her, and don't confidently lead in a physical
way, a woman will only think of you as a "friend".

   Even if there is attraction based on
personality, it's going to disappear if you don't
cross over into the physical realm.

   99% of the time, she's NOT going to be the one
to make the first moves... it's just not going to
happen. YOU have to do it.

The real keys here are:

1) Knowing WHAT to do to proceed in each situation

2) Knowing WHEN to proceed in each situation

3) Knowing HOW to proceed in each situation... in
a way that is smooth and natural... and that
doesn't get you "rejected"

   You've got the benefit of having my eBook and
my Advanced Dating Techniques Program. I recommend
that you check out the bonus booklet that came
with "Double Your Dating" called "Sex Secrets,"
and use that material IMMEDIATELY.

   Also, you'll learn a lot of great ideas in the
last few discs of my Advanced Series.

   Let me cover a few basics here.

   First of all, it's OK that you're a virgin.

   It's no big deal. You're making it into
something bigger than it is by freaking out about
it.

   I'll break the news to you:

   SHE ONLY CARES HOW SHE FEELS, NOT WHAT YOUR
PAST SEXUAL EXPERIENCE IS.

   If you can make her FEEL good, game over.

   You're obviously a guy who can pay attention
and learn things. Spend a day at the bookstore,
and go to the "sexuality" section. Read for
awhile. You'll learn everything you need to know
to get past your "first time" just fine.

   And, by the way, if you run into a problem...
like "performance anxiety" or nervousness or just
being uncomfortable naked around a woman... that's
OK, too. If you reach a point that starts to freak
you out too much, just lean back and stop for a
little while. One of the GREAT things about the
process of getting a woman turned on is that it's
much more powerful for her if you DO stop and
start... move two steps forward, and one step
back.

   You don't need to say, "Hey, I realize that
we're both naked in bed here and we should be
making love, but I'm a virgin... and on top of
that, I can't get it up." No no nooooo....

   Just kick back. If you have to, just call it a
night.

   The KEY is that you have to at least PROGRESS
physically with her. Explained differently, you
don't necessarily have to go "all the way," but
you do have to get pretty far down the field...
and keep going a little farther each time... if
you want to keep the attraction building.

   I have another secret to share with you...

   Most guys suck in bed. And I don't mean that in
a good way. And no, I'm not talking from
experience.

   I have known, interviewed, and received emails
from a lot of women. I know the deal. Most women
are not very happy about what happens in the
bedroom.

   If you do just the things I've laid out for you
in the ebook and Advanced Series, and then you
totally blow it and are the worst lover the world
has ever known, she'll still have a GREAT
experience with you... because MOST of it will
have been fantastic for her.

   Using the physical techniques... ways of
touching, ways of getting her physically turned on
and amplifying her arousal, that you've learned in
the materials, will get a woman so turned on that
just about ANY kind of sexual interaction will be
fine with her.

   lol... and by the way, the next time a woman
looks at you and asks, "What do you think the odds
of us having sex within the next few weeks
are?"... you need to look her right in the eye and
say:

"Sex? Hell, I don't even know if you know how to
kiss."

   ...then lean over and kiss her.

   When you're finished, pull away (you stop the
kiss before she does), look back at her, and say:

"Hmm, I'll have to get back to you about the sex
part."