***COMMENT***

Hey, I got your eBook a month or so ago. Great
stuff. I write a comment to you because of one of
your letters, the one from "M. Missouri",
specifically. He described starting his marriage
with the C&F and losing his touch. My advise: hit
the book, bud. My marriage was the typical story
of the wife with all the power. This last month,
the whole deal has turned on its head. We're
celebrating our 10th anniversary next year, and my
use of your eBook has moved the power from her to
at least shared (it'll be all mine soon enough).
The posture advise, and slowed deliberate,
confident movements, and, of course, the "like I
give a F" attitude all have brought this about.
Thanks David, and to the guy who's losing his
edge, take it from someone that had no edge and is
getting all of the control: you've let the book
sit unstudied for too long. If I can change over 8
years of bad history, you can reel your situation
back in.

P in Portland

>>>MY COMMENTS:

   Great job, man.

   Too many guys have this ideal or fantasy in
their minds of "being equals" with a woman, etc.

   Ain't gonna happen.

   Attractive woman aren't interested in an EQUAL.

   They're NEVER attracted to guys who are EQUALS.

   Attractive women want a guy who is a LEADER.
One who takes charge, keeps them on their toes, is
unpredictable, Cocky & Funny, etc.

   Thanks for the letter.

***BREAKTHROUGH***

David, this might seem usual but I owe you $40.
See I purchased your ebook about a year ago but
asked for a refund because "it didn't work for
me". I realize now that it wasn't your material
rather my own issues that I had to deal with.
During that time frame I still read your
newsletters and gained more understanding of the
mindset of one who "Gets it". I'm still working on
that but as you said, some are quicker learners
than others. Another factor in this was the other
day when this hottie that I was chatting up was
saying how she would hold out longer if the guy
was "relationship material" than if she wanted a
booty call. (A great time for a quick C&F
comeback) A light clicked on and I remembered
where I'd read that before. The clincher was when
a buddy of mine let me listen to some of your
advanced material. All I can say is that I'm
getting my own copy as soon as I can. So where do
I send you your money?

Thanks, E.S. in San Diego.

>>>MY COMMENTS:

   I admire you for coming back a year later and
admitting that you were the issue, not the
material.

   SO YOU'RE THE GUY WHO ASKED FOR A REFUND, HUH!?

   lol... hey, it's OK.

   Yes, women do "hold out" longer if a guy is
"relationship material"... that is, if they are in
CONTROL of the situation they do.

   And yes, at that point you should have shot
back:

   "So that's how you think of me... as just a
BOOTY CALL? How romantic."

   You know, sometimes I even find it hard to
believe that all this strange stuff is true about
women and dating.

   But, it is...

***COMMENT FROM A WOMAN***

Dave

What are you doing? Wait I'll answer that, YOU
are taking away ALL of the fun we get to have! Ok
I'll admit you're right about most, ok all, of it,
but there is still at least ONE thing that I know
you have never answered. If we put a guy into
your so called "Friends" category even YOU don't
know how to get him out of it!

JB -Canada

P.S. I recommend you stop selling your books and
"advanced tactics" before you do something
serious.

>>>MY COMMENTS:

   Yeah, I'm really in danger now, huh?

   And you're right... once a guy is in the
"friends" category it's not easy to get out.

   In fact, I tell guys to just walk away and
forget about it, because it's such a pain to try
to change.

   But, there's GREAT NEWS!

   There are SO MANY women running around on this
planet that it DOESN'T MATTER.

   Next!

   The ironic part is that when you do take the
"Next!" attitude and stop treating a woman, who
only likes you as a friend, like she's special,
she'll often change her mind and start liking you.

   Go figure.

***COMMENT***

First off, I am an avid reader of your material
and I employ it often. It works - well. I bought
your ebook about a year ago and it was worth every
penny. Anyway, enough ass-kissing. I have a
general comment about the whole gift-buying,
dinner-buying kissing a woman's ass concept. You
say that doing such things to win over a woman's
attention are foolish. I agree wholeheartedly.
However, I am in a relationship now with a woman
that I really like, and sometimes I want to buy
her things or take her out, etc. This isn't
because I feel I have to, but it is because I want
to treat her well. I don't feel that if I don't
do this, she will leave me. Therein lies the
difference between being foolish and needy about
it, and doing it by your own decision. It is the
INTENT behind what you do that is important. If
you do something for a woman because you feel you
have to or you will possibly lose her, she can
more than likely sense that, and will have
limitless amounts of power over you. If you do
something because you want to, then she will sense
the apparent confidence in you, and will not
necessarily have power over you because of it.
Besides, like you say, a woman should want you for
YOU - your personality - not what you can buy her
or where you can take her. NOTE: I agree that
gift-giving, etc. is a somewhat bad idea in the
beginning of a relationship for the same reasons
you don't like it. It makes you appear needy and
insecure, and no (emotionally stable) woman wants
that in a man.

P.S. It was your material that helped give me the
mentality to get with the girl I am dating
currently. Good work fella!

J from Philly

>>>MY COMMENTS:

   YES!

   You get it!

   It's the intent behind what you're doing.

   I have a little secret that I'm going to share
with you. But lean in close, so I can whisper. I
don't want anyone else to hear...

   I actually have guy friends who are REALLY good
with women who take women to dinner, buy them
drinks, etc. when they first meet.

   What, you say?

   How can this be?

   Well, the big difference is that these guys are
NOT doing this stuff to GET THE WOMAN'S APPROVAL.

   And since EVERYTHING ELSE they're doing clearly
communicates the RIGHT things, they can actually
do whatever they want, and still not screw things
up.

   In other words, if you don't understand how
ATTRACTION works, and you don't know how to
communicate with women in a way that makes them
feel it for YOU, then buying drinks and dinner,
and giving compliments, and all the other things
most guys do will only BACKFIRE.

   On the other hand, once you totally understand
how and why women feel ATTRACTION, you can do
whatever you want.

   And later on, when you find a girl that you
really like and you're enjoying a relationship, of
course it's nice to do nice things for her.

   Just remember, be very careful.

   It's easy to be lured back to the dark side...
and to try to get women to like you by paying for
things and taking them places... which it will
never do.

***QUESTION***

Hey Dave,

I just finished reading your latest newsletter and
I had a thought that I wanted to share. You talked
a lot about guys chasing women and showering them
with gifts to buy their love. Well, I have a
common sense point to make to any of your readers
that may be on the fence about buying your
materials.

Before I purchased your book, I had doubts because
I wasn't sure it would be worth the money. To put
it into perspective, I thought about all the girls
I dated in the past. Then I roughly added up all
the money I had spent on each for dinner, gifts,
etc. (Yes, I know, that was wussy behavior).
Well, after totaling up the money, I realized I
could have bought all your materials (book, CD and
DVD series) for myself and five of my close
friends and still had money left over (Yes, I
spent that much money on women in the past. I
know, that was bad). Point is, to any guy (or
girl) out there, take the money you're wasting
chasing some girl and buy Dave's book or CD/DVD
series. It's worth it.

Now to my question. I know this is getting long
but I gave you a plug so you owe me. Have you
taken any courses or read any books on
conversation skills? Can you recommend any books
on the subject and also on the subject of body
language? Thanks,

AG in PA

>>>MY COMMENTS:

   You're right-on about one thing...

   If most guys added up all the money they've
WASTED on women, they'd realize what a BAD
investment they've made (and what a great
investment my stuff is! I like your idea... I'm
going to tell every guy to get my materials for
them and all their friends from now on. Nice!)

   The best books I've ever read on conversation
skills are COMEDY books. I like the book "Comedy
Writing Secrets" by Helitzer.

   And as far as body language books go, I haven't
found any that I can recommend. The book "Body
Language" by Fast, has some interesting stuff in
it... but most of it is hard to really grasp.

   One of the biggest problems I ran into when I
was first learning how to meet women was that
things didn't make sense... and things that
"should" work DIDN'T work.

   When it comes to women and ATTRACTION the
normal rules don't apply anymore. This area of
life is VERY DIFFERENT from other areas, and when
you try to apply ideas and techniques from other
areas (like conversation skills), you'll find that
they often don't work AT ALL.

   You can walk into a room full of 100 people,
and start walking around meeting them.

   For 99 of them, walking over and saying, "Hi,
how do you know everyone here?" and "So, what do
you do?" will work just fine.

   But when you find that ONE attractive woman in
the room that you'd like to meet, and you want to
start an interaction that leads to ATTRACTION, you
must do something TOTALLY different.

   It's more than the words you say... it's a
total understanding of what that woman is looking
for on a deep, primal, subconscious level... and
then to BE that man.

***COMMENT***

Dave,

Sometimes I have to just stop in the middle of
your newsletters and take a break because the
stuff you deliver is so good that I feel a little
overwhelmed... killer stuff! I love the ebook and
CD collection. I will send some details later.

You really do more good in the lives you touch
then you know. I hope you can truly appreciate
that statement and all that it means. We should
all be so fortunate to have such a positive impact
on a single life... let alone the many that you
influence.

Best regards, E. Chicago, IL

>>>MY COMMENTS:

   Yes, someone give me a trophy... or a medal or
something.

   I really am a wonderful guy, huh?

   Trust me, if you had this much fun doing what
I'm doing, you'd do it, too...

***QUESTION***

Hi Dave

I've been receiving your free newsletter for a few
months now and just wanted to say that I've found
much of what you've written to be helpful,
insightful, and most of all funny! Like a lot of
other guys I've spent a LOT of time trying to
learn how to impress and have success with women,
and I like to think that I've come quite a long
way from the needy, desperate wussy-man I used to
be (and still am on occasion, admittedly).

My question involves one of the 'testing'
behaviors you described in a previous newsletter.
You said that one way women often test men is by
canceling plans at the last minute, or by flaking
out altogether with little or no notice. I've had
this happen to me numerous times and I always
assumed these girls were just being careless or
inconsiderate... or worse yet, ignoring me in the
hopes that I would "get the message" and walk
away, without them having to go thru the
awkwardness of outright rejecting me! It never
occurred to me that they might be doing it
intentionally, and then taking note of my response
in order to see if I passed some kind of test. Is
that really what's going on? And if so, how do I
pass the test? What is a woman looking for in
this type of situation?

Thanks, T

>>>MY COMMENTS:

   Well, it is true that women use things like
this to test men... but it's ALSO true that women
do things like this because they want to AVOID
CONFRONTATION.

   In other words, a woman will sometimes make
plans with a guy just to avoid saying "no" in the
moment.

   But later, she'll flake or cancel because
"something came up"... when she never intended to
show up in the first place.

   If women are flaking out on you a lot, it's
probably something that YOU'RE doing up front.

   In any case, try this:

   Next time you're talking to a woman on the
phone and making plans to get together for tea
say, "Let me ask you a quick question. Do you ever
flake out on things?"

   She'll say, "Not usually" (or some other non-
committal thing, most likely).

   Say, "Good, because it's one of those things
that I really can't deal with... people that can't
keep their word...and there are a lot of flaky
people in this world."

   That might help.

   And if she DOES flake at the last minute, don't
accept it.

   If she calls and says, "Oh, something came
up..." just answer back, "You know, I was just
starting to think you were DIFFERENT from all the
flaky women I've met"...

   Make it clear to women that it is NOT OK to
waste your time and they'll waste it less.

   But, if you act nice and sweet and
accommodating... and you transmit the message that
it's OK to flake because you're a nice guy and
won't care, then it will happen to you all the
time.

***QUESTION***

hey dave,

i need an answer to a question that has confused
the hell out of me. well, i received a bunch of
red roses for valentines day from my girlfriend of
about 2 months now. i gave her 2 roses, a small
teddy bear thing and a short card with a bit of
c+f talk. i figured that i had made a bit of a
mistake by buying her this much, but when i gave
it all to her she looked so happy and told me that
SHE owed ME bigtime for what i had done. the rest
of the day i had no problems with kissing her or
anything else. my question is, why havent i been
seen as a wuss to her? i know that in most other
scenarios, buying this much stuff would have got
me nowhere.

by the way, your research and advice is all spot
on. its helped me to attract loads of girls,
including my current girlfriend. thanks and keep
up the great work mate.

S, AUSTRALIA

>>>MY COMMENTS:

   Yeah!

   The reason she said that she "owes you big
time" is because of the WAY you did it.

   When you incorporate the attitude into all of
your communication with women, it has a HUGE
impact.

   The fact that you:

1) Did something thoughtful (the card, two
flowers, etc.)

2) AND you said Cocky & Funny things in the card

   ...clearly communicated that you were NOT doing
this because you wanted to kiss up to her and get
her approval.

   One of the greatest things you can do is EVERY
time you do something nice for a girl and she
THANKS you for it say, "Yeah, you owe me" in a
sarcastic tone.

   Then, later, get her to pay up.

   Personally, I like massages.

   There's something magical about always putting
a high value on yourself, your time, and your
attention. If you put a high value on it, women
will too.

   ...and a couple of final thoughts...

   There are two KEY aspects of learning how to be
successful with women and dating:

1) The Inner Game

2) The Outer Game

   The INNER GAME is all about learning how to
THINK and how to manage your thoughts and
emotions. It's also about understanding how and
why attractive women feel that amazing emotion
called ATTRACTION for some men and not for MOST
men.

   The OUTER GAME is all of the techniques, what
to say and such.

   Which is more important?

   Well, they're BOTH important.

   But what I notice is that most guys want to
learn the OUTER GAME first.

   In other words, they want the pick up lines,
the fancy tricks, and other things.

   I can remember when I first started learning
this stuff.

   I had this idea in my mind that if I could
learn how to get women to give me their numbers
that I'd be the MAN.

   Well, I learned that. I can get just about any
woman's phone number in just a few minutes.

   But guess what?

   Once I learned how to get women's phone
numbers, I ran into a much BIGGER issue... the
women usually flaked out on me, didn't show up,
etc.

   And the ones that DID show up were difficult.

   Nothing happened.

   I realized that there had to be more.

   And, as it turns out, there is. A LOT more, in
fact.

   The REASON that the "Inner Game" is so
important is that attractive women don't judge you
on your "pick up lines".

   And just because a woman gives you her phone
number or email address DOES NOT mean that she
FEELS anything inside (like ATTRACTION).

   Women don't DECIDE to feel ATTRACTION for a
man.

   ATTRACTION is something that happens on its
own, for its own reasons.

   Attraction Isn't A Choice!

   The way to cause women to feel ATTRACTION for
you is to UNDERSTAND how and why it works, and
then communicate in a way that makes it happen.